Thoughts and Writings from the furnace by Kent Weathersby

Get Out The Vote

Before retiring from the airlines, I had the privilege of flying the Airbus A-320. It was a new generation of aircraft incorporating over 230 on-board computers. It was highly automated and especially “intelligent”. Intelligent because its flight path was governed by what are called flight laws. If the pilot had inadvertently allowed the aircraft to approach a stall, the flight control computers would automatically lower the nose and apply full power in a maneuver intended to save itself. It was as if the pilot had a vote rather than autonomous control.

Like every parent, the first time I laid eyes on our firstborn, my world changed. While looking through the window into the hospital nursery, I resolved to be a deliberate and engaged parent. My wife and I saw to it that the children were tucked in every night with bed-time stories and prayers for them and the husbands they would someday marry. Ample time was spent in leisure pursuits, homework, and fun; especially fun. My wife saw to it that we went to Disney World no less than once a year and more than once some years. Discipline was consistent and appropriately measured; except for the time I snuck one of them out the window for a trip to Pizza Hut after her mother had sent her to her room for misbehaving.

If the girls were performing on the school auditorium stage, we were there. If they were on the athletic field, we were there. If they were on the Teen Board runway, we were there. I painted numerous dorm rooms, replaced numerous cars, and could have financed our retirement with the money it cost to educate, clothe, entertain, and marry them off. I am confident that they left childhood knowing they were loved and valued. Something else was being achieved during those years. Something I would not know about till years later.

Early in her freshman year at college, my daughter Jennie met a young man who was bright, good looking, and athletic. They were attracted to each other and soon became a couple. It was obvious to her mother and I that they were in love and that the relationship could become permanent.

After they had been dating for several months, we began to see some troubling signs. Normally, the young man was poised, charming, and witty. But, on occasion he would lose his temper with Jennie and would frighten her. In one instance, while they were at a restaurant just off campus with some friends, he reacted to something she said by pouring a glass of water on her head. Naturally, I was outraged over the incident. Stopping just short of threatening his life, I let him know what I thought of his behavior, I was told “Jennie and I can work this out on our own.” Obviously, we had a serious problem.
It was evident that this boy was not who we thought he was. Our daughter had fallen into some kind of battered girlfriend syndrome and couldn’t see the seriousness of the situation.

During the Christmas break from college, the family was together at dinner one evening when Jennie became upset and was shedding tears. She was reluctant to explain what was going on but we finally learned that a few days earlier, while the two of them were at a shopping mall, the boy had become angry with her over nothing important and had pushed her into a wall leaving a saucer sized bruise on her chest and had walked away. Her breath had been knocked out of her and passersby were helping her to her feet.

Jennie was 19 at the time. There was nothing we could do to force her to get out of this destructive relationship. But, we weren’t going to make it easy for her to stay in it. Classes were to resume at the college the two had been attending after the holidays. I only had a few days but I managed to enroll her at a local college, bought her books, and even arranged for a parking permit.

We called the family together, locked the front door, and informed Jennie that she was not going back to her college. “Your books and class schedule at Perimeter College are on the kitchen table. We can’t make you drop this person but we are not going to enable your abuse.” 

She went to her room in tears. In an hour or so, she returned to the gathering and told us she would break off the relationship if only the two of them could meet and say goodbye. They did.

Within a few days, I received a letter from the young man telling me of his plans to win Jennie back. He was absolutely certain he could do it but there was one thing he hadn’t planned on – we had earned a vote. Jennie is now married to a wonderful man; they have two perfect boys with whom they too will have a vote.

“Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.”

Kent